Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize