i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize