let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I will pee on everything he values.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
