Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize