his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
