I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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