Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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