I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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