Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
