1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Screwed.edu
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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