Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
zippers are such a cool invention
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
