And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Green mimosas i think yes
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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