...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize