Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
