if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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