just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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