Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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