you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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