I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
