would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
