i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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