Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We are two peas in an std pod
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Is it penis luge time yet?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
