So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
