im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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