He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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