he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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