Im at strip club and am horny
one might say we're banned from that church
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize