so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
