Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
you would pick up someone in the library
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
