I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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