I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I touched a dick in church today
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize