Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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