Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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