Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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