I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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