I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
