There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
