she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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