Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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