he was CRYING into my vagina
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize