i barfeds in our rink
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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