Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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