One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
