the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
