does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I lost the right to judge tonight
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
