but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
