That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
