i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
