Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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