Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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