He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
