i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize