Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
