I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
