dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
