I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
