I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
