Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
