I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
