Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
