In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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