Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
