I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
