I'm really into asian looking animals
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
